Rules Of Thumb When Parenting a Child With:
| Attachment Disorder | Disorganized Attachment |
| Keep child in your eyesight to avoid serious behaviors | Talk using simple brief statements and pauses to ensure child connects with your request. |
| Understand dealing with negative emotions is much too hard - you must tell the child it is okay to be upset and to verbalize this. Assist child in being truthful about their feelings. | Understand this child has had too much responsibility too early and needs assistance calming emotions. This can be done by telling the child what he or she feels and why. |
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Expectations may bring out the older part of the child. Expect less and understand this child needs to bond before treated older. |
Follow through with what you say and do not give in to stop aggression or a tantrum. |
| Do not be surprised by anything this child does or says - know with certainty that this child lacks in a conscience and bonding is harder than hurting you. | This child has bonded and has a conscience but is unable to control their internal emotional states because others emotions were more important. Help this child to feel safe and calm. |
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It is not what the child does that is important (I know it really hurts at times). It is what you do that matters in the long run. Call and advocate for a way to get your hands on the parent program we use. |
Help teach him or her how to be a child and not worry about the adults. This can be done by setting up more child structured activities and supervised or less time with an adult who depends on this child emotionally. |
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